


GET ON YOUR BIKES AND RIDE

by IrisClou



Series: Unboundry (Zero & Alia) [1]
Category: Rockman X | Mega Man X
Genre: Gen, Humor, if you could call it that, its just axl
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-17
Updated: 2017-04-17
Packaged: 2018-10-20 05:54:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10656291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IrisClou/pseuds/IrisClou
Summary: There’s not much of a summary besides the fact Alia just really, REALLY wants to finish a debriefing and Zero does everything in his power to passively stop her. Bonus cute ending for them.





	GET ON YOUR BIKES AND RIDE

**Author's Note:**

> god this is so noncanon. but it has my canon's zero & alia & x so....it's ... technically /a/ canon  
> i feel bad for alia she just needs a beer and a 7 week vacation and a girlfriend

[ **[ Fat Bottomed Girls | Queen ]** ](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DVMnjF1O4eH0&t=ZTk1NDUyODc2ZmEyZGNmYTYzODZhMzlkNGY0OWQ2Njk3NmZhNjUxZixZQlBlQ1RyVg%3D%3D&b=t%3A6ISGrkH8ieoCi-baTLSy1g&p=http%3A%2F%2Fzero-buster.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F159124458620%2Fget-on-your-bikes-and-ride&m=0)

“Axl.”

_Munch, munch._

“AXL.”

An uncomfortably long slurping noise.

Zero cleared his throat, desperately hiding a snigger, watching as the boy casually flipped through his comic book, nodding his head to the music he listened to.

“AXL! For fuck’s sake! Take those headphones off!” Alia’s voice was at breaking point, along with her temper.

“I don’t think he can hear you, sis.” Zero bit at his lip, unable to hide the grin now. “Yell a lil’ louder. If you’re lucky, Sigma may hear and come over and save us the trouble of finding him.”

Alia’s eyes flashed, and she shot a fiery look at her commanding officer.

“ _You_. YOU are NO better.” She hissed, before catching X’s eye.

X stiffened, glancing nervously over at Zero, who was slowly leaning further and further back in his chair until he was precariously balancing on one leg. He returned the look and wiggled his eyebrows.

“I’m sorry, Alia.” X mumbled, lowering his eyes.

“I’m about ready to call Sigma up and LET him beat the shit of you assholes. I don’t get paid enough to do this, let alone babysit _adults_.” She heaved a heavy sigh, which turned into a low groan as Axl began to mutter lyrics to himself.

“My AI’s only 18.” Zero sneered, returning his chair back to the floor. He propped his elbows up on the table, squishing his cheeks up. “See? Baby fat.”

“You disgust me. And that’s a lie. Last time you were tested, you were 25.” Alia curled a lip at him.

“Um.” X made a feeble noise.

“X, wait until I’ve killed Zero before talking to me.”

“Oh, uh…I uh…” X made another strangled noise, “Okay.”

There was a moment of static where Zero shared a smug look with a furious Alia. The silence was broken by a loud shout of “GET ON YOUR BIKES AND RIDE!”

Alia, at bursting point, swung around to face the culprit, who was still absentmindedly shoving Cheetos in his mouth while flipping through his comics.

“A X L !” Her voice was deafening.

The boy’s head popped up and he looked around the briefing table in wide-eyed alarm. He was met with annoyed looks, and one smirk from Zero.

He pulled his headphones down around his neck.

“Are we starting?” He hastily brushed his hands on his sweatpants to remove the Cheeto dust.

“We started at oh-six-hundred, and it’s 6:30 now.” Alia said quietly.

“That’s too early. I don’t wake up till like, ten.” Axl paused, looking thoughtful. “Well, on a good day. Usually it’s 11. And I only get up before that on Saturdays.”

“Isn’t he beautiful? A masterpiece of robotics.” Zero crooned sarcastically.

“Also, just because you’re the only reploid that can physically eat, doesn’t mean you’re allowed to at the briefing table.” Alia was trying desperately to catch the boys attention. But he was blindly staring into space. Must have seen a blue jay outside.

“Oh, okay.” He answered mindlessly, blinking.

“I love him. But I love the fact we kept him more.” Zero remarked, but was hit upside the head with a pen before being able to continue.

“Next time, I’m going to start throwing chairs. And you’ll have to ask X for instructions, because I’ll have given my two weeks by then.” Alia barked, seeing she now only had fifteen minutes to get an hours worth of briefing in, not to mention the inevitable Q&A afterwards.

“Jesus, sis.” Zero rubbed his temple where he was hit, but only seemed deterred for all of a second before grinning again, green eyes bright, “Can’t wait for that. The humans’ll have a field day if their precious reploids start killing each other.”

“WE GET TO HAVE A CHAIR FIGHT?!” Suddenly, Axl was back in business, having jumped out of his chair, hair bushing up.

Alia held her breath.

Storm Eagle slid a glance over at X, who already looked ready to call an ambulance for his navigator.

“I’m done. I am completely done with you–”

“Rabblerousers?” Zero offered facetiously, and ducked as Alia’s agenda was launched at an alarming speed at his head.

Axl giggled, and Storm mumbled something, doing his best to cover up a puff of laughter.

“You are _not_ going to win this. I have five fucking minutes, and if it takes me pinning you to the ground and _beating_ this information into your godforsaken empty skull, then I’ll _gladly_ do that.”

“That’s a bit kinky, sis.” Zero sucked air through his teeth, milking this for all it was worth.

Alia let out a muffled scream into her hands, and hunched over the table, nails digging into her face.

“That sounds like me winning. I’m sure X agrees.” Zero folded his arms, smugness oozing from every artificial pore in his body.

X let out a strangled whine, doing his best to slink under the table as inconspicuously as possible.

“Storm. Storm, _please_.”

“I’m a neutral party, Alia.”

“I hate how I can tell you’re smiling. I hate that you can smile with a beak. I hate everything.” She kept her face buried in her hands.

“However, I _can_ try to salvage this.” Storm looked over at the clock. 6:59.

“ _Please_.”

Storm gave Zero a stern look, and the man reluctantly pulled his feet off the table.

“You have thirty seconds, sis.”

“Thank you. Now, as I was saying earlier,” Alia inhaled, a look of peace and tranquility on her face, “Sigma’s forces have been sighted in–”

A tiny, tiny beeping noise.

Silence.

“FAT BOTTOMED GIRLS, YOU MAKE THE ROCKIN’ WORLD GO ROUND!”

Axl had already checked out. It was seven. His headphones were back on, and his comic book was neatly tucked under his arm as he got up to throw away the empty bag of Cheetos and his soda.

“Stunning. Absolutely stunning.” Zero fawned, shaking his head and getting up himself. He gave the defeated looking Alia a soft smile. “Sorry, sis.

Guess Sigma’s gonna have to wait until Axl finishes his comic book.”

X gave him a worried look before walking out with the rest of the hunters.

Zero returned it with a coy smile, deepening the anxious expression on X’s face.

Alia looked up at him with hollow eyes.

“You’re telling me that you and X _alone_ were able to defeat Sigma before the HQ? How. How did you manage?”

“Didn’t have anything better to do with ourselves, honestly.” Then, after Alia let out a pathetic noise, “Babe, at least let me buy you a coffee. Tell me what all Sigma’s dickin’ up over that.”

“Thank you.” She closed her eyes and leaned her head back, sighing.

A pause–

“Why do you do this, Zero?”

It was just her and him now.

“I gotta keep a good reputation, Alia.” His face was much softer now, kinder. There was still laughter in his eyes, however.

“By ruining mine.” She leered up at him as he made his way to her side of the table.

“Nah. I’m not that much of a prick. Everyone loves you, Alia. They respect you. They just expect me to raise hell in the face of authority.”  Zero put a gentle hand on her shoulder.

“I can’t drink coffee.” She smiled up at him.

“I know, sis.”

A moment of hushed friendship, before–

“Y'know, if I had to find a man–” Alia began, but Zero shook his head.

“Don’t say it. We both know exactly where we stand on this boat.”

“Wildly rowing in opposite directions but never getting anywhere?” Alia laughed.

“Precisely. Now, c'mon. I need to get as far away as I can from Axl singing Fat Bottomed Girls for the umpteenth time.” He gave her a wink.

“I think we all do.” Alia relaxed as Zero threw an arm over her shoulder and led her to the rec room, agenda left forgotten on the floor.


End file.
